This month has been busy.

January has been a busy month for the Bowie family.  I started the new year out with a week trip to Norfolk to do an audit for work.  After the audit was completed, I came to the conclusion that I did make the right decision about what job I decided to go with.  It was a long, painful, and emotional journey - but in the end, I think I ended up where I was supposed to be.  The audit completely made me feel like I was going to make a difference in the Program.  I have been put in a position now where my ideas can actually become reality (as long as my ideas make sense) and I think I need that type of gratification in my job.  So... long story short, I think I made the right decision.

Before I left for my trip, I found out that a lady (Ruth), who pretty much carved my way in the horse world, had passed.  I hadn't spoken to the woman for years - we actually left her barn on pretty bad terms and I think once I could drive I went and saw her a handful of times.  But, even though when we left the barn it was a tragic ending (and when I use the word tragic I am not  over exaggerating - the event was tragic), she opened my world to horses, she introduced me to some pretty amazing girls (most who I am still friends with), and she gave me a way to let my mind be free.  People who don't connect with horses probably don't understand that last comment: a way to let my mind be free; but, for me, whenever I am doing anything that involves the horses - stalls, feedings, riding - my mind takes a break from the world.  The horses are my way of mediating and I am so thankful that she gave me that opportunity, that she introduced me into that world.  Her viewing was on the day I returned from my trip.  I actually left Norfolk and went straight to the viewing.  I saw a lot of faces I haven't seen in person for a long time (we all still see each other on FB) and it was great seeing everyone.  After the viewing, we went to one of the girl's houses (Lisa) for a little pizza party... and we laughed, we reminisced, we became kids again - where our #1 worry was which parent was going to drop us off at the barn that weekend.  It was great seeing everyone.  The next day was the funeral.  My mom and I went together and met all the girls there.  The preacher that was doing the sermon asked if anyone wanted to say anything.  Something came over me, I stood up, I walked to the podium and through tears I told them how I never thanked Ruth for providing me with the opportunity that she did, for opening my heart to horses, for giving me my way to escape the world when the world was just too much, for introducing me to these amazing girls... I said some other things too, but I hardly remember.  Then, I looked at her husband, Lee, who was sitting in the front row and thanked him for the same things.  He was in tears, just like me.  After the service, I had three of the girls thank me for my bravery and saying everything that they wanted to say.  It was sort of surreal.  I am not one to express my feelings, especially in front of large group of people - but for some reason, that day I decided to stand up and I am glad I did.  I was able to let everyone know that I did truly appreciate everything Ruth and Lee did, I was able to thank Lee in person so he knows that I am grateful for everything, and I was able to speak for the other girl's who couldn't get up there and say those things.  Sometimes all it takes is for you to step out of your comfort zone to make you feel like you did something special.  A lesson I will have to remember for many years to come...